this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
