If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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