that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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