Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
