I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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