i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Im part way to drunk.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
