That's when you crack a 10am beer
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
