you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
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