so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
