so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
