I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
