I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
