Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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