I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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