That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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