i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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