im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
