Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
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Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
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Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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