She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
