we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
