Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
