We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
