I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
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