Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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