friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
