Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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