You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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