We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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