How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
