Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
