i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
