If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
