Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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