forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
