so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
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