tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
