She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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