i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
