I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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