So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
