She's JV to your varsity
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize