Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I cockslap morals
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We are two peas in an std pod
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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