We should be called the Road Head Warriors
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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