Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
third nipple confirmed
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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