i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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