They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
how does that bad decision feel?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
