To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
