So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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