he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize