Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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