and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
