I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
