just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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