I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
