Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
