if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
