Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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