If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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