I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
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