I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
And then my night got REAL pukey
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
