ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
