if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
