ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
