C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
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Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
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Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize