Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My penis needs a shock collar
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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