Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize