Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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