not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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