Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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