i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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