4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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