so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
