Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
