He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
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nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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